Just One More Drink
by sugarkid
Summary: Ruby and Snow compare notes on Whale with surprising results (Frankenwolf)


Snow had been friends with Ruby for a very long time. She knew better than most, with the sole exception of Granny, how to tell when her friend was upset or just plain hiding something. Likewise, she could always tell when she had something on her mind and the manner in which she had demanded a girls' night complete with wine and pizza delivery, only to fall silent the second the bottle was cracked open, left Snow more than a little bit suspicious.

"So," she said. "Was there something you wanted to talk a-"

"Nope!"

Three more glasses of drink, however, told a different story. Ruby sighed and leaned back against the couch.

"I slept with Victor," she said.

Snow raised an eyebrow.

"Who?"

"Oh, uh, Whale."

Suddenly it all made sense. Snow remembered the way she too had demanded a pizza night after her own dalliance with him, mostly because she had needed to tell someone, _anyone_ that she had discovered the holy grail of lovers. David often complained that since the curse her sexual appetite had been through the roof, but that wasn't entirely true.

Her expectations were just higher.

"Why didn't you say so?!" she exclaimed, setting down her glass. "Isn't he amazing? That guy found places I didn't know-"

She realised she was alone in her appreciation of Whale's gifts.

"Wh-he didn't?"

Ruby shook her head.

"He didn't..." Snow searched for the words, "throw you on the bed, or lift your leg over his shoulder or..."

Ruby shook her head, even more solemnly than she had the first time.

"Then what _did_ he do?"

Ruby rubbed her temple and pressed her lips together, seemingly ashamed of what she was about to say.

"He...he uh...kissed me on the cheek and said 'goodnight'," she said.

Snow blinked.

"So when you say you slept with Victor..."

"I _slept_ with Victor."

She couldn't help herself. Snow doubled over in fits of giggles. completely incapable of stopping, even as Ruby bashed her with a cushion and protested that it wasn't funny and it felt like she'd adopted a nun.

"Can't you..." Snow said once she'd caught her breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Can't you show him porn or something...find out what gets him hot under the collar?"

"I did," said Ruby and she began to fiddle with her hair, something she only did when she was _really_ embarrassed.

Snow picked up a slice of pizza, completely intrigued and when Ruby noticed, her eyes fell to the floor.

"David told me that Victor had asked him about...the nuns here...if they can still...y'know?" she said, wringing her hands. "I figured he must have a thing for nuns so I asked Mother Superior if I could borrow an...outfit. I told her it was for Halloween!"

Snow wished she hadn't bitten the pizza, for she ended up spitting cheese and tomato paste all over the floor. Ruby glared at her, completely unimpressed by her reaction.

"D-Did it work?"

Ruby glanced around the room, as if to check that there was nobody listening in on their conversation, before leaning forward so that she was only a matter of inches away from Snow's face.

"I went to his apartment while he wasn't there and put it on, waited for him to come home," she whispered. "Put on a video while I was waiting to get me in the mood. When he got back, he took one look at me and patted me on the cheek, said it was good I had such a moralistic outlook on the world and asked if I wanted a biscuit."

"What kind of biscuit?"

Ruby scowled at her.

"Does it matter?"

"It could have been a penis reference!"

"It was a custard cream."

Snow knew her best friend better than most people did.

When she proceeded to take a bite of pizza and, because of how hard she was laughing, got it lodged in her throat, she knew that Ruby would take her to hospital, despite how awkward she felt about having to see Dr Whale after everything she had just confessed.

She also knew that when Dr Whale asked Snow how she was feeling and her response was that she wanted a custard cream, Ruby would absolutely forgive her and probably even find it funny a few months down the line, even if she claimed the opposite at the time.


End file.
